Bears Recap, Commentary, and NFL Top Five

Da Bears Win: 37-6.

In my best Harry Doyle voice, "Rexy is sexy and makes girls swoon."
In my best Jason Whitlock commentary, "Rex was on the money, but Jeff George is better."
In my best Chris Berman bellow and screech, "Seattle. WHOOP."
In my best Will Ferrell imitating Harry Caray, "Holy cow! Randy Gropeman just passed to that tall black fella for a touchdown. Holy cow! Hey! Did you know that Chicago Bears spelled backwards is Ogacihc Sraeb! Hey!"

And the bandwagon has official become an oil tanker.

When the game started and the first quarter was a little less than halfway over, Seattle marched down for FG, leading me to think the Bears were in for another nail-biter. The DBs were getting burned on some go routes, and the up front pressure was non-existent. Maybe that was cuz the game was all of six minutes old.

Then the offense took the field and promptly put to bed any idea that this game would be close. Rex Grossman, he of less NFL starts than stitches in Andre Gurode's head, found a resurgent Muhsin Muhammad in the back of the endzone capping a 12 play, 69 yard TD drive.

Maybe the game was still in doubt, but Ricky Manning, Jr., was felonious once again with two thefts of Matt Hasselbeck passes including a tipped ball/blocked shot that would made Manute Bol proud. After that Tommie Harris and the front four would take the game over making the Seattle QB more familiar with the turf on Soldier Field than Robert Downey, Jr., and his dealer.

I have one complaint though. Someone teach Rex how to speak in English. His postgame interviews make him look like a dolt or the stereotypical dumb jock. One thing's for certain, he passed Sports Cliches 101 at the University of Florida. I don't know if he has a speech impediment, but he sounds like Kyle Orton speaking thru a bottle of Jack Daniels. But as long as he keeps playing like a '90s Brett Favre, he can sound like Ron Harper for all I care.

And mark it down, boys and girls. While it won't be a loss next week is still gonna be a let down against the poster-child for homeschooling Dick Jauron and his Buffalo Bills. It has to be, cuz the Bears played just about as perfect a game as possible last night.

(And this win nicely sugar-coats the premature ending of the 2006 White Sox season.)

The first ever Fleece & Flog NFL Top Five (anymore and I might not get any work done at all):

1. Da Bears (4-0): What to quibble about? Brad Maynard had an off night.
2. Indianapolis Colts (4-0): Edgerrin who?
3. Baltimore Ravens (4-0): Baltimore McNair and Tennessee McNair are the same guy.
4. San Diego Chargers (2-1): Road losses don't come much tougher than theirs in Baltimore.
5. New England Partiots (3-1): Bill Belichick steals the women's hearts and the Bengals' mojo.