Monday, October 16, 2006

In the Line of Fire: Cedric Benson

(Editor's Note: Normally this would be posted on Friday, but I was incapacitated that day and night. And the subject matter is apropos to tonight's MNF game.)

"Cedric Benson takes the hand-off. Threre's a fumble! Fumblina! Fumblerusky!"

And the Buffalo Bills march 42 yards for the game ending score!

Oh, no! How can the Bears give up those 7 points? How can they disgrace themselves and all the fans? How can they leave us so bitterly disappointed?

How can they win the game only 40-7?

Don't they know perfection is a fickle and fleeting thing?

Don't they know that they run the risk of angering the football gods by giving up late game TD's instead of preserving the shutout?

I personally think that karma crapped on the Bears after Cedric Benson fumbled. The #4 overall pick in the 2005 draft by the Bears was having a great day with two TD's and plenty of playing time; he was getting back in the good graces of his teammates, the fans, and the ghosts of Papa Bear, Sweetness and the Galloping Ghost.

And then he fumbles. So let's look at perfection and how the little things can derail the Bears march to immortality.

In the previous 4 weeks the main antagonist for the perfect Bears had been a rookie punt returner who, while not costing the Bears a game yet, was having problems holding onto the pigskin and running north and south.

Fast forward to Soldier Field last Sunday, and who cost the Bears a shot at perfetion? A second string running back who was hurt most of last year, and who didn't even see the field in the one close game the Bears had had this season.

Jesus, Ced, what gives?

Are you trying to piss off your defensive teammates? Do you feel like running gauntlet drills all day during practice? Do you want random people running up to you and trying to slap out of your arms groceries or whatever other things you may be carrying? Do you wanna be booed outta Chicago, a city that loves its football heroes like no other? (Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever to put on a uniform and we were lucky enough to have him here in Chicago, and no one will ever confuse me for loving the Bears more than the Bulls. But I dare someone to tell me he is more loved than Walter Payton or Mike Ditka in the city of Chicago. It ain't gonna happen. Da Superfans were "Bears fans" first, and Robert Smigel was onto something when he wrote that sketch.)

This City of Big Shoulders will carry you around like a king if you just hold onto the ball. Just Brian Urlacher about the adoration he receives on a daily basis. Or Tommie Harris. Or Thomas Jones. Or long-snapper Patrick Mannely for that matter.

If you thought Texas was kind to you while you were in college, just wait and see what happens in Chicago if you win it all and are perfect in the process. They'll erect buildings and statues in your name. A new kielbasa will be created in your honor. The SEC's Florida vs. Georgia "World's Biggest Cocktail Party" game will seem like a girl's slumber party in comparison.

You're blowing it, Cedric. Just hold onto the friggin' ball.


Blogger Soxually Repressed said...

After the Cardinals, 40-7 looks pretty good, now doesn't it?

2:29 PM, October 17, 2006  

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