Weekend Update with Fleece & Flog

Happy Monday, critters, and welcome to the first official weekend recap for 2007. For those living in water-logged -- as opposed to frozen solid -- Chicago, hopefully your perennials haven't started blooming and the maple tree in your front yard hasn't started producing buds. For those in warmer climes, screw you, your suntan and your fruity drink with the little umbrella in it. For those of you in colder climes, ha-ha ha ha-ha! The sports news here in the City of Big Shoulders wasn't what it could have been but it wasn't a complete disaster either.

• The team that plays on ice reverted to it's losing ways, dumping a few turds in losing to the Nashville Predators on Friday night, 3-8, and the Phoenix Coyotes on Sunday, 2-4. The Blackhawks have now lost three in a row and five out of their last six, and the honeymoon is officially over for Denis Savard. Hopefully he enjoyed that Manager of the Year award from Fleece & Flog because 4 for the last 49 on the power play means he may be stripped, tarred and feathered faster than a Chicago lane change on the Dan Ryan Expressway. Martin Havlat missed the last two games with a pulled groin, and captain Adrian Aucoin was a healthy scratch on Sunday. But in good news, 38 year-old Peter Bondra scored again. There's no truth, however, to the rumors that Dale Tallon tried to talk Bobby Hull out of retirement.
• In Bears news and in a bit of odd irony, for the second straight season the Bears face an opponent they dominated in the regular season: the Seattle Seahawks. NFL flavor of the month, Cowboys QB Tony Romo, proved that men and moisturizing do not go hand in hand when the game winning field goal attempt slipped thru his hands. In other Bears news, Rex Grossman was NOT intercepted this weekend and Tank Johnson could only bring a knife to a gun fight.
• The Cubs still suck. In other news, Lou Pinella was seen cavorting with Larry Brown.
  
• In White Sox news, on Friday starting SS Juan Uribe said he may not play in 2007 due to a Dominican Republic judge ordering him to make mandatory twice monthly appearances in court. On Saturday afternoon, Sox GM Kenny Williams issued a statement saying if Juan Uribe was unavailable, Alex Cintron would take his place in the lineup. Saturday night, Juan Uribe said he WILL be available to play for the White Sox in 2007. On Sunday, negotiations were started between the accuser in the Uribe case and Sox management to frame Scott Podsednik for the Kennedy assassination since there seems to be no other way to get rid of Pods.
• In local college basketball news, the Illini (12-5, 0-2) suffered their worst home loss in 31 years by losing 62-44 to the best team money can buy, the Ohio State Buckeyes, despite Greg Oden's 3 of 12 shooting from the field. Taking in the game first hand, Isiah Thomas was seen crying in a corner after passing John Paxson somewhere in the bowels of Assembly Hall.
  
• In other college basketball news, DePaul (10-6, 1-1) went on the road to Philadelphia and defeated Villanova 73-65 for its first Big East win. Nice win, but just how far have the Blue Demons fallen off the map of Chicago sports? Even if Sammy Mejia were to wear a name tag, he'd be mistaken for Sammy Sosa -- ON HIS OWN CAMPUS!
• Lastly, the Bulls split back-to-back games on Friday and Saturday losing 91-86 on the road to the New Jersey Nets then pummeling the Detroit Pistons 106-89 at the United Center. Friday night after squandering a 18-0 lead to the Nets, coach Scott Skiles' News Years resolution to stay off the wacky-tobaccy went the way of the 8-track and the Yugo. No word on whether Skiles' man crush Chris Duhon joined him for the festivities or was too busy hitting on short Asian chicks. On Saturday night former Piston Ben Wallace was greeted by his former teammates all wearing headbands. The Body then turned green, ripped off his warm-ups, and gnawed off Detroit coach Flip Saunders' arm. Rasheed Wallace also received a technical for smiling at a Luv-a-Bull, and the Bulls stopped a twelve game losing streak at the UC to the Pistons. On Sunday Luol Deng, shooting 64.7% in his last five games, sunk all twelve of his shots shooting his laundry at the washing machine. Even domestic chores have no chance against Luol right now.
• One more note: D.T. Kelly is finally out of hibernation and has updated his Sports Page. He's decided to focus more solely on the White Sox and as such has renamed it "The Exploding Pinwheel". I've updated the side link so check it out when you can!