Friday, December 01, 2006

In The Line Of Fire: USC

The problem with snow is that it is so cold when it happens. If it could be 55-60 degrees while people had to shovel, it might not be such a hassle. Soooo, while this columnist is sitting at at floor-time desk writing this piece, it occurs in the brain section that it is often convenient to have control over one's schedule, or workplace workload, or put more simply one's own destiny. So where is this rambling diatribe headed? Glad you asked. If you didn't, let's just pretend.

The thing about controlling one's own destiny is it sounds sort of easy to manage, like raising sea monkeys. Sometimes, though, it is more like raising an actual monkey. Not the fun helper-monkey kind, either.

For instance, one entity that controls it's destiny is the University of Southern California. Of course, some of the groundwork was laid years ago when the people making the schedule didn't give this year's team a pansy set of teams to play against. It seems North Carolina was already taken by another team trying to control it's destiny. Wonder how that worked for them. Digressing as it goes...

Talking of this year, there was a stumble against a conference foe. College football being constructed as it is, one loss, especially somewhat early, doesn't necessarily spell doom for a team. (Since loss has two s's, it technically can't spell doom, but that is another discussion altogether.) Guess who is sending the BCS computer a fruit basket? That's right, USC. Just as long as they win against UCLA.

This is where the whole destiny control angle really comes into focus. By taking care of the Navy-beaters of the world, USC has put itself at the top of the list for title-game contention. But first up, UCLA. Now bring some string, because this logic maze might get twisty. The now 6-5 UCLA put quite the scare into ND in South Bend (that's the town were Notre Dame plays it's games for you bandwagoneers). That's right, they almost beat the team that until recently was bleating that they deserved a shot at the title. Of course by losing to a team that lost to #1 OSU and losing to the team that will likely face OSU for the title, that took care of that. Logically, one might say if USC beat ND, which did beat UCLA, than one could extend this logic strand to say that UCLA doesn't really stand a chance. (Their respective records might say that, too.)

The problem with this logic is that it also explains New England's SuperBowl win over the '85 Bears. Oh, wait...The Dolphins beat the Bears that year (and this one, yes, stay focused here.), and the Patriots beat the Dolphins to reach the SuperBowl, so obviously the Patriots should have won it all. Except for all the defensive talent and Hall-of-Fame running back that the Bears had.

That is why USC controls it's own destiny. It's one thing to control destiny, and quite another to actually predetermine it though. Looking in the cliche handbook it says to write: That is why they play the games. Having said that, the battle for the city built on water-extortion (whole separate issue) should be won pretty handily by USC (sorry Jeeves). If that is so, and Mars doesn't fall out of retrograde, and Florida and Urban don't hunt down the BCS computer (moved to NORAD for security sake) with a club, USC will have the chance to show the other wannabes (in the end, there can be only one) how to handle a rebuilding year.

It is December 1st, so let the holiday greetings begin.
Happy ChristmaHannaKwanzaRam.
Until next time, be good. (Because he sees you when you're sleeping.)


Blogger Jeeves said...

Hopefully I will be in a good enough state tomorrow to meticulously follow the game so I can type a blow-by-blow of when UCLA pulls a huge upset or I officially start looking forward to the opening of Pac-10 play in bball

3:43 AM, December 02, 2006  
Blogger Jeeves said...

By the way, out of courtesy for your readers, I say take down the Fire the Fucktard link, because I just clicked on it and it took me about 3 minutes to escape from all the popups and junk.

3:45 AM, December 02, 2006  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

thanks for the heads up jeeves, I knew they took down the blog, but I didn't know there were pop-ups in it's place

8:35 AM, December 02, 2006  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

Umm, Jeeves, it's the start of the 4th and UCLA is up 10-9, and I hope you're deep into the second bottle of Boones Farm right now. I would be a nervous wreck and I don't even play for them.

6:05 PM, December 02, 2006  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

I just realized that with Florida leading Arkansas 10-0 right now, that I don't want Florida playing for the National Championship. They already hold the basketball title right now, and that was an under the radar group. This possibility of even playing for the title makes my stomach turn, so go USC. Sorry, Jeeves.

6:08 PM, December 02, 2006  
Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

Well, I hope Jeeves gets the name of the lampshade he'll be wearing later on tonight before retiring to the to toilet to show how much he supported UCLA.

6:56 PM, December 02, 2006  
Blogger Jeeves said...

Hmmmm boy! Second greatest football game of my night...Finally got back to my dorm for the first time since this morning, so I'll guess my write up will come after a little shut eye!

6:10 AM, December 03, 2006  
Blogger Soxually Repressed said...

Echoing Jimmy's comment, OSU had better beat Florida.

12:17 PM, December 04, 2006  

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