Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Fleece & Flogs NFL Top Five for Week 8

Scary things afoot in the NFL this past weekend. We won't go so far as to say the Halloween spirit is the culprit (mostly cuz we don't believe in that kinda thing), but maybe a black cat did cross the path of a team bus or two. Here's some players and coaches whose Sunday wasn't helped by walking under any ladders...

Reggie Bush...maybe he hurt an ankle tripping over a seam in the carpet, maybe one of those feral cats living in the Dome was black and crossed his path. Maybe his R.O.Y. chances got spirited away in the process.

Ben Roethliesberger...selling your soul to the devil for last year's championship sure doesn't look like such a good idea now, does it? Who, not in the bottom 3rd of the league, loses to Oakland?

Carolina Receivers...memo to Keyshawn Johnson and Steve Smith, there will be a ritual exorcism performed tonight to remove any and all demons residing in your hands. And Keyshawn, be sure to bring a rain coat; it could get messy.

Dennis Green...did you accidentally step on the grave of Vince Lombardi while visiting Lambeau? I don't care what your owner and GM say to the press; you are what we thought you are: dead man walking.

Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb...you're about to be stampeded by 40,000 hysterical fans trying to escape the horrors at the Linc.

Cincinnati Defense...at least you performed some kinda magic trick on Sunday. You managed to make Michael Vick resemble a pocket-passing NFL QB.

Onto this week's Top Five----------------------
  1. Da Monsters of the Da Midway (7-0): I guess the Great Pumpkin resides at Soldier Field what with that sea of orange jerseys and shirts. Alex Smith your name is Kurtz and you've seen the horror!
  2. Indianapolis Colts (7-0): Mile High Stadium was a mile low after Peyton and friends left. Under the radar FA signing this off-season...kicker AdamVinatieri to the Colts.
  3. New England Patriots (6-1): Tom Brady laying 31 points on a decent Viking team in Minnesota was scary enough. Doing it with no receiver corps to speak of is down right bone chilling. And NE still gets to face both undefeateds yet this season. Shiver me timbers!
  4. San Diego Chargers (5-2): Look out! Godzilla, I mean, LT is running wild, destroying everything in his path! Shawne Merrian is a chemical experiment gone wrong! Philip Rivers is...um...Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz?
  5. New York Giants (5-2): Dr. Frankenstein called. He wants his freak back. So will someone please get Plaxico Burress on a plane already.


Blogger Soxually Repressed said...

All things being equal, you have to put the Bears at the top, but they destroyed as team that might lose to the college champ. The Colts beat an actual NFL team. On the road. Merrian is just a chemical experiment gone, period (for four weeks). All kicker signings are under the radar. Despite not being a Bears fan, don't think for a second I won't be rooting for them to beat the snot out of Tommy Boy.

3:37 PM, November 02, 2006  

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