Friday, December 29, 2006

Mike Tyson or Martial Arts!

Today, The most dynamic heavyweight champion boxing ever had, surprised all of us one more time. "Iron" Mike Tyson was arrested today for driving under the influence and cocaine possession. Ok, to anybody who has followed Mr. Tyson's escapades this arrest isn't really a surprise, this man has destroyed himself and is a shell of the champion he used to be. That being said, Tyson's stories are one of the only reasons the casual sports fan even remembers boxing exists.
Lets face it folks the heavyweight division of boxing is dead and gone. There is no more Dempsey, Ali ,or yes even Tyson for us to enjoy. When we look at boxing we see, although talented, small men who pound each other longer than a bad Ron Jeremy movie. Most fights end with two bruised men waiting for a panel of judges to decide their fate. This is not what a true fan wants. We yearn for decisive beatings handed out in short order. We are men, and as men we need carnage and grown men going to sleep from crushing blows, right before our very eyes.
Don't fret men. I have a solution. This great solution is called Ultimate Fighting Championship. I could rattle on and on about how wonderful these contests are, but this isn't a commercial. So here are the facts. This Saturday, the Light Heavyweight Champion of the world Chuck "the Iceman" Liddell will be defending his title in a rematch of a 2004 fight, against Tito Ortiz. The last time these two men battled, Liddell laid a beating on Ortiz in the 2nd round and sent him to Neverland, it was beautiful. Besides this contest the card includes a great bout between Andrei "The Pitbull" Arlovski and Marcio Cruz.
These contests are as close as we can get to the coliseum in Rome. If you like violence, and who doesn't, this card is the must see fight of the year. So if you got the sack, order up the fight on Saturday and witness a return to a better time. When men actually got in the ring to hurt each other and not dance a waltz.
Oh yeah, the fight is going to cost you about forty bucks. So before you start crying, I thought I might remind of what you spent forty dollars on this year.

1. Cheese

2. Jerky

3. A present for some woman, who didn't even appreciate it!

4. Some ungrateful child.

5. Oil changes

Bottom line You deserve this! Do it for you! Plus it is a great excuse to get all the guys together and get drunk.


Blogger jamesmnordbergjr said...

Go Lidell!

9:47 AM, December 30, 2006  
Blogger ChicagoCubbin said...

The "ICEMAN" In 2.

5:34 PM, December 30, 2006  

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